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Portrait de Nade

 

“Portrait de Nade”. Copyrights Alice Odilon 2012. All rights reserved.

L’histoire commence avec son visage enregistré régulièrement par les CCTV.
Nade avance dans la lumière des néons, offerte aux écrans de sécurité.

Sa peau exacerbe la luminance des effets de blancs. La regarder c’est la toucher, tant le voile de son épiderme se fond dans une poussière de porcelaine.

La fluidité de ses joues relie les traits de poupée asiatique.

Des sourcils délicatement précis au ton de roses bulgares, des taches de rousseur réparties en petites étoiles sur la chair des pommettes et les ailes du nez, lui donnant un air de campagne, quelque chose de rare et citronné, une Eau Impériale de Guerlain.
Cette radiance du visage inaugure le sentiment d’une perception amplifiée, fondamentale.

Ce teint de peau éclaire l’histoire: par sa faute Nade mourra plus tôt.

Le masque de poupée raconte les sentiments les plus durs à supporter.

Le visage de fulgurance avalé par les yeux.

Le nez, la bouche s’érèctent en petits phallus roses.

Les lèvres tendrement tendues demeurent délicatement fermées.

Au lieu de crier.

Alice Odilon. 2008. Copyright.

J’ai mis Lisbone, the anorexic doll, dans la lumière, comme un flaconnage de cristal, pour voir sa force

“Lisbone, the anorexic Doll, in the light of truth”. Alice Odilon Copyrights. Dec 2011. All rights reserved.

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5 anorexic candidates and 3 babies

One of the three unwanted Babies.

The Game had begun a few hours after our 5 sure candidates had signed their contracts and swore they would take care of 3 newborn human babies.

One of them was entrusted to Asaël Rienick and Avatan Nihili, another one to Whitswimm and Aza Wahk, and the Third one, to single “parent” : Tige Ald.

 

Asaël Rienick, the Tightrope sleepwalker and Avatan Nihili the teenager.

 

Whiteswimm the Ballerina and Aza Wakh the marathonian girl.

 

 Tige Ald the Contorsionnist.

Then the clauses and terms were clearly established: Just 2 Candidates and a baby will get an award at the end of the competition.

In fact this challenge consisted in successive tests of resistance as long walks, starvation, test of courage and ability to fast for months and potentiality to huddle tightly in order to endure extremely harsh conditions of abuse, freezing temperatures, hostile attitude of potential meet people, depression, despair, self-destruction, suicide drive…..

For the first time since the beginning of the competition, Akan came in the meeting room of Rehab Center and told to the assembly all about the rules.

All candidates had to go to main gym hall, and prepare to run for 26,2 miles on tread mill running.

(There is no doubt that challenging an anorexic body to run 26.2miles, takes more than a huge amount of commitment, compromises and sacrifices.)

But were our frail candidates able to take on this challenge?

They would be served all the energetic and tasty breakfast they would need before, whether they wanted or not, they would have to be ready after meal for the Marathon on Tread mill running.

Asaël Rienick, Aza Wakh, and Tige Ald would have to carry their precious treasure: the baby, 8 days old, coming from Orphanage, found on the street, lost and unwanted little creature.

Then after this “easy” run, Asaël Rienick would entrusted her baby to Avatan Nihili; Aza Wakh would do the same to Whiteswimm and Tige Ald would have to keep the baby for another round.

I know it was completely unfair to give to one candidate a double target to reach, but life is like that, cruel and unjust, pitiless as well.

As you know certainly, anorexic people don’t like eating normal meal, absorbing usual need of calories to win and to breathe, either to survive.

Because anorexic people find their strength in a secret part of their self: their embodied soul.

- So, as expected, nobody touched the buffet before the first test of resistance.

Unlike their own starvation, our candidates had been immediately involved in their new babysitter role, and never babies received such nice care and attention.

- You need to know that anorexic mothers, (in despite their past of abused children and deprived of love during their childhood) are excellent mothers, because “L’amour c’est donner ce que l’on a pas reçu”.

- Yes Our candidates presented all signs to be “good-enough Mothers “. (as described by Donald Winnicot)

{“The good-enough mother…starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant’s growing ability to deal with her failure…” (from “Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena,” 1951)}

Each baby had been a priority, (every pair of candidates and solo Tige Ald had been excellent nurses, with love, attention and lot of cuddles accorded to the demanding child they had to take care about.

- Anorexic people have always reserve of energy in mind, and some are able to struggle for a marathon, that means 3-4 hours of intensive effort.

But after, they’re more than empty and have to admit to be feed even a little bit.

Hypoglycemia represents one of biggest threat on Marathon and collapsing can happen suddenly when blood sugar below 70mg/dL. Blood sugars at this level can harm you badly.

“Untreated, hypoglycemia from too much insulin can lead to loss of consciousness and coma.

Severe hypoglycemia is a medical emergency that may result in seizures and permanent damage to the nervous system if not treated.

Severe hypoglycemia that results in unconsciousness is also called insulin shock.”

In despite all of these common ideas of good tips for good runner, our three anorexic young women were able to finish their marathon in less than 3 hours, with baby on the back, sleeping tight and having sweet dreams, feeling secure with “Running Mummy”.

Alice Odilon. 29/07/2011. All rights reserved.

You will fly but first you will struggle for life

“Penguins in the Blizzard”. Google Images.

“Every Day, alone in front of the other pensioners of Anorexia rescue center, deep in the most pitiless group of anorexic persons, a truly remarkable journey will take place.”

- That would be the Treatment to recover in Akan’s Tower, announced Syndra Raynaud, the “Right Hand Woman” of Akan.

- “Because for you, guys, anorexic winners, life is like that, harsh and inhospitable”, added inconspicuously, the shy Ragdoll.

Each of you will be a survivor, and will have to deal with eating-disorder, staying alive.

Every pensioner in rescue center, will abandon the deep sweet security of its bedroom and clamber onto the commune area to begin its long struggle against anorexia: a such desolate land, a region so bleak, so extreme, it support no other life.

- “The greatest fear you have, the fear to live, the fear to loose control, the fear to eat, the fear to breathe, you will beat it”.

Said Blythe Somat, the hemiplegic flower doll, who was in charge of anorexic patients suffering from Asperger Syndrom as well.

- “So you will play a game, all together”.

- The game inspired by “The Emperor’s Journey”.

 

1972: Survivors found 10 weeks after plane crash in the Argentine Andes. Google Images.

(Four days after the rescue, a Santiago paper alleged that the survivors became cannibals to ward off starvation.
The group confirmed that they ate human flesh at a press conference two days later.)

 

You will have to accomplish tests of extreme endurance, during which you will have to rely on the united anorexic members of the group, their physical warmth, their spiritual presence, their embodied soul, their disembodied body.

You will share body heat to conserve energy and protect the “protégé” you will have to care about constantly.

You will realize you cannot hate the other anorexic persons, as you did before; because you were scared about their special regard and knowledge of anorexia secrets.

Only Love and solidarity will help to struggle for life.

 

“Child survivors dressed in clothes made from German uniforms”
(One of the youngest survivors of the Buchenwald concentration camp, shown in the center of the photograph above, was four-year-old Josef Schleifstein.The Communist prisoners, who were in charge of the day-to-day administration of the camp, made sure that the children were well cared for. Note the adult man in the back row wearing a beret to identify himself as a Communist.)

You won’t have food during the periods of survival in the course of which you will have to completely deny yourself and to think only of your “protégé”: the small infant who will be entrusted to each of you, from today, from now.

This Baby is you when you where a newborn, just before anorexia,  before lack of love and good care of your mother.

So you will be in charge of yourself, as a baby and in the same time, as an adult.

It will lead to you to a point of survival self-experiment.

At this point you will have to choose to live or to die.

Alice Odilon. 17/07/2011

 ”The Penguins chicks survivors in the Blizzard”/ Ref: “The Emperor’s Journey”.

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