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The defiance of anorexia

Copyright Alice ODILON june 2009. “Défi-Jane”. Tous droits réservés. No clone is free.

As a photographer and as an anorexic woman photographer,

I’ve always used expressionists ways, and border-line ways to express myself with my photographs since 1977.

I didn’t choose the easy way, the aseptic way, the fashion way to tell the implacable illness I had to deal with,

and the exceptional gift of anorexia: sharp-eye, acute lucidity, specific search in the Absolute.

At the age of 17, I began my self-portraits, without fear and superficiality, trying to connect with my authentic life.

It was in 1982, my first exhibition in Galerie 666, rue Maître Albert, Paris 4ème, was a time bomb,

because nobody told about anorexia, expect Valérie Valère or Sheila MacLeod and Julia Kristeva.

The secret language of anorexia became public and it was the first time, anorexic self-portraits

were showed in a Gallery (Galerie 666 – PARIS ) in the world. (Gallery closed in 1988).


Today many pseudo artists play with the subject which has became a growth niche.

And now the subject is sterilized and covered up with esthetic commercial pictures they’re sold in Art fairs.

But the tortured soul of anorexia is still here and stays helpless and uncontrollable.

I tried to “enter” my work on wikipedia in order to participate to the “community”.

I was immediately rejected, because I work on the reasons of anorexia and not on the effects.


In addition of this, I’ve watched a program on TV about Stockholm solution in a specialized clinic


for anorexic daughters of wealthy families, which was the perfect demonstration of a growth business.


That’s only industry, diet clinic industry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_zajjRbyEo&feature=related


I’ve seen pictures made by deutsch photographer Yvonne Thein.


[These pictures were "intended as a mocking and satirical take on pro-ana".

But these pictures have been nevertheless used as inspiration by anorexic persons. Wikipedia ]

That means for me, these double edged pictures equivocate deliberately.


Because I think this photographer is in love with anorexic allure.

When I took a close look about these pictures, I realized they were a plagiary of my work already done a long time before:

http://www.aliceodilon.com/index.php?/category/130

http://www.aliceodilon.com/index.php?/category/132


The obvious plagiary is flagrant.

She just copied my pictures.

She stole ideas, style, form, look and feel, identity of my work, my author’s rights with her total witting plagiary of my work.

For me the reason of this big mistake is she’s not anorexic and she speaks about something she doesn’t know.

She just used the symbol of extreme sharp thinness and the shield of virginity and beauty of “blé en herbe” because

she deeply, aspired to this buried, concealed estheticism. There is only a question of myth of inaccesible abstract beauty.

In my opinion, if she wanted to denounce pro-ana websites, she had to show real body of anorexic persons and not this soft,

clean, coquettish “verdict”.

Because the reality of anorexic body is:

( Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa)



Stunted growth

Endocrine disorder, leading to cessation of periods in females (amenorrhoea)

Decreased libido; impotence in males

Reduced metabolism, slow heart rate (bradycardia), hypotension,

orthostatic hypotension, hypothermia, inappropriate sinus tachycardia and anemia

Abnormalities of mineral and electrolyte levels in the body

Thinning of the hair

Growth of lanugo hair over the body

Constantly feeling cold

Abnormalities of mineral and electrolyte levels

Zinc deficiency

Potassium deficiency

Refeeding syndrome

Reduction in white blood cell count

Reduced immune system function

Pallid complexion and sunken eyes

Patulous eustachian tube

Creaking joints and bones

Osteoporosis

Collection of fluid in ankles during the day and around eyes during the night or peripheral oedema

Tooth decay

Dry skin

Dry or chapped lips

Poor circulation (cool peripheries), resulting in common attacks of ‘pins and

needles’ (Parathesia)and purple extremities


with a constant terrible suffering overwhelming body and soul.


Superficiality is not proper.

Alice ODILON


copyright Alice ODILON June 2009 – “Crutch” . tous droits réservés. No clone is free.

Help for abused Women

Only one’s own experience can find an echo in others.

I was born with anorexia as an unwelcome gift, I had no choice but to live with it.

I was likely to be “at risk”, so, at 17, I ran away, I left home which was not a home for me, but a sort of hell.

Cold and destructive.

I worked as cleaner, sales assistant, to pay my Art studies during 5 years.

Art was my life’s sole objective.

I could never have survived without this all consuming and focused passion.

This Art (photography) was stronger than any form of addiction; it gave me a crucial sense of life.

However I remained a person at risk: likely to fail, fall, and lose myself, because I was gifted with

a heightened sensitivity and a very acute perception, which, in a certain way was very dangerous for me.

When I was 32, I met evil in the form of a narcissistic pervert who, for 3 years, transformed my life into slavery.

I’m convinced, because I was an anorexic person, eating-disorder person, I was susceptible to becoming a victim

of a manipulator, a woman beater.



This outcome was a near scientific fatality as all in me was able to connect with perdition, addiction, slavery.

But I’ve been born a second time.

Thanks to Art I have woken up and it has helped me to sit up literally.

It seems simple like that but life can be very painful when one is the victim of someone who is stronger.

My great good luck comes from my rebel side that nobody can kill.

Inside us all we need a little place of light, very strong, virtually in contradiction with the sad rest of us.

In this way we already have the tools to survive, even in the worst of times.

Antablog has been created to answer all sorts of questions that anorexics, abused persons,

or runaways frequently ask.

A sort of FAQ.

This blog is for us, for you, especially if you’re in the dark at this stage.

All the best.

Alice ODILON.

This information is provided for guidance only and you are strongly recommended to seek suitable expert advice and help ASAP, if you’re in danger.

www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/emotional_abuse.html

Antarchives

Anorexie métaphore de Peau d’âme

Fairy Godmother, Marraine  de la Princesse refusant d’épouser son Père, le Roi, conseille à celle-ci de revêtir la peau de l’Âne pour se déguiser et se cacher dans la forêt, abritée dans une ferme misérable.

{La fée marraine de l’enfant, va dissiper tout malentendu en apprenant à la princesse à ne plus confondre les amours : on aime ses parents mais on ne les épouse pas !

{La salissure ressentie par l’enfant est ici matérialisée par la peau d’âne, vêtement répugnant qu’elle choisit de porter et qui lui vaut son surnom – on ne connaît pas à cet égard son véritable prénom.

Par la suite, elle devient souillon et s’engage dans une ferme.} Wikipédia.

Comme dans Cendrillon, l’identité de la princesse sera révélée par une séance d’essayage : celle d’une bague, convenant au doigt le plus fin (pantoufle de verre au pied le plus fin dans Cendrillon), signe de jeunesse, de beauté et de pureté.




Peau d’Âne. Image issue du film de Jacques DEMY.

Grâce à cette sale peau,  la Princesse évite la mort symbolique de l’Inceste.

Cette peau est le “disembodiment”, “the lack of the body”, “the bodily self-model”.

Cette peau empêche de penser et de sentir “à la première personne”.

Grâce à la peau morte du X, l’anorexique évite la mort de l’indifférenciation fusionnelle avec la Mère, avec le groupe familial enlisé dans la psychose de l’inommé, de l’interdit, de la honte.

Cette peau d’âme est “the disembodied soul”, ou plus clairement le self-model rayant  l’accès au corps vécu et vivant.

A l’origine la princesse anorexique était “une” avec ses émotions, ses actions, son language, son cerveau, son corps.

Elle ne s’était même  pas posé la question de sa division et de sa mort symbolique dans la scission du self et du corps.

Mais un jour est venu, où la petite princesse a vu son corps allié intime (le Corps est le premier lieu des expériences de la vie, et donc des émotions), être emparé, paré, figé, aligné  par le groupe social.

Elle a faillit en perdre son âme, tant l’emprise serrait fort.

Elle s’est donc contrainte à se déguiser d’une peau terrible issue de la mort, d’un non-retour, la seule que la communauté a concédée à lui accorder.

Cette peau est la peau de la victime, du bouc émissaire, c’est une peau qui imite la Mort.

C’est la peau morte de l’Innocent bienfaiteur qui donnait tout en recevant rien, sacrifié pour sa valeur inestimable.

“Méfie-toi, car c’est ce que tu as de meilleur”.

Ainsi la Princesse peut échapper symboliquement au groupe hégémonique du même.

C’est cet objet transitionel issu d’un sacrifice accordé en guise de compensation envers l’anorexique, qui sauvera la vraie peau de celle-ci.

Cette “peau de chagrin” joue le rôle de pare-feu entre l’anorexique et la loi hégémonique du même exercé par le clan des pairs.

L’anorexique se rend souillon, abîmée, déguisée sous cette peau mâcabre.

Revêtir cette peau contraint la Princesse à taire son âme rebelle et étouffer son vrai corps sali dont elle a honte.

La Peau d’Âme enveloppe la princesse anorexique dans sa citadelle masquée.

C’est l’anorexie qui se joue alors avec un corps émacié, réduit à la membrane, un esprit vivant qui se tait désormais pour ne plus dire que des choses raisonnées et non plus ressenties.

(Logorrhée à défaut de ménorrhée).

La figure anorexique devient cet X limité, limitant du corps et de l’âme.

Ce qui reste de la Princesse est désormais couvert par la Peau d’anorexie-âme-âne.

C’est une peau d’écriture mais une peau qui interdit le contact direct avec les sens.

L’anorexique est alors au coeur de sa maladie extrême et le danger de mort est réel.

Deux issues sont possibles: Soit la Princesse anorexique, ou l’anorexique princesse, parvient à se faire dispenser de la loi du même,

puis décide d’enlever sa dépouille pour vivre dans sa vraie peau, sa peau “propre”, et là, elle retrouve les deux parts d’elle même, son âme et son corps réunis dans une certaine harmonie élaborée grâce à un travail de thérapie analytique et un travail de vécu personnel de la connaissance et des sentiments.

Soit elle devient Peau d’Âne et meurt dans cette peau de Mort.

Alice ODILON. Juillet  2009.

Abusive man/non-abusive man

An abusive man …


shouts
sulks
smashes things
glares
calls you names
makes you feel ugly and useless
cuts you off from your friends
stops you working
never admits he is wrong
blames you, drugs, drink, stress etc.
turns the children against you
uses the children to control you
never does his share of the housework
never looks after the children
expects sex on demand
controls the money
threatens or wheedles you to get his own way
seduces your friends/sister/anyone
expects you to be responsible for his well-being.



A non-abusive man …



is cheerful
consistent
supportive
tells you you look good
tells you you’re competent
uses your name
trusts you
trusts your judgment
welcomes your friends and family
encourages you to be independent
supports your learning, career etc.
admits to being wrong
is a responsible parent
is an equal parent
does his share of the housework
accepts that you have a right to say “no” to sex
shares financial responsibility
takes responsibility for his own well-being and happiness.

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