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One of the most searing Portraits of doll’s desperation ever put in Akan’s story.

It’s time to tell about essential, minimal, brutal things in Life. Isn’t it?

Akan had tried terribly hard to postpone this moment when a dark whispering murmur of the wind would came.

But it happened despite that.
This wind was the announcement of death.
Somebody in the tower was going to leave tragically.
This doll didn’t deserve to die alone nor endure this hard life.
This black day was actually a relief for this tenant, a squatter in fact.

She had been hiding in a basement for a few days after having run away from Bresson-City.

Her name was Doll “Mouchette”.


She came from the county of Bernanoshire, where she had lived in hardship in Bresson-city.
There she had faced major difficulties: a dying mother, an alcoholic father who was absent, and a baby brother in need of care.


She had been subjected to derision from her teachers.

“Nothing but a little savage” was how the Bresson-city school-teacher had described fourteen-year-old Mouchette, and that view had been echoed by every right-thinking local citizen.
Mouchette had been alone, completely alone, against everyone.”



Her mother was too sick to get out of bed,  Mouchette had been forced to take on the motherly tasks, preparing everyone’s meals and feeding her younger sibling.

At one point, it even looked like she might try breastfeeding when there was no fire on the stove to heat the baby’s milk.



She had been forced to be an adult even before her body was capable.
Also one dark night she had been raped by a bad man in a wood.


As tragedies continued to pile up, she had decided to leave Bresson-city and to take her life into her own hands, like a last act of defiance.
Mouchette doll was the most beautiful of dolls despite her tangled black hair, her dirty nails, and her wooden clogs.
Akan didn’t know Mouchette, until she had gone to bathe in the river with her friend Betsy, anorexic paper-doll and the severed hand of the doll who had disappeared.
It was the spring of 2011 in April.
It was still very chilly and the wind was twisting and twirling the petals of the young trees in bloom.
This supremely delicate dance had attracted a sad person.


“Mouchette finds rescue and peace in the nature”.

A young doll soiled by the earth and misery, with black hair matted and covered with dust, was sitting, stretched out on the ground, on the green bank: Mouchette.

Betsy who was unable to swim, given that her paper body would disintegrate, was also seated on the other side of the river, looking after the towels of her friends, Akan and Syndra Raynaud.

Akan and Syndra were playing in the cool water splashing each other and diving into the depths.
Their bodies glided in the light, with the thinness of Akan’s body magnificent in the light of the ripples, her skin both pale and livid embellishing the river.
Syndra, the severed hand of the doll who had disappeared, with her long fingers, mimicked the touching grace of a starfish.
Syndra became a mischievous mermaid jumping in the silvery waters; her fingers did not feel the slightest cold or the slightest increase in temperature: a kind of provisional harmony!


Suddenly a cry, Betsy, panicked, helpless, witness of the worst, the death of Mouchette.


Mouchette had let herself roll from the top of the bank like a lifeless puppet carried away by her own momentum down the slope.

{Of course, she does it alone, so maybe Bresson isn’t letting us off the hook after all.

Maybe putting up with a hard life leads us to even harder, more isolated positions.

In the prologue, Mouchette’s mother refers to a stone that is inside her, a metaphor for her illness.

But then, it could be where we all end up, weighted down, and the more we struggle, like a bird ensnared in a poacher’s trap, the more it hurts.

Bresson only releases Mouchette by letting that full weight land on her, and thus pushing her under.}

Mouchette let herself slide into the cold water, drown in icy water, on this beautiful sunny morning in mid-April.

Akan and Syndra had seen nothing, but felt the tumult of the circles in the water left by the despairing leap of the Doll Mouchette.


Betsy stiff with pain, dried out with sadness, stiffened even more before the now empty water.

It was April 14, 2011, Doll Mouchette would leave an enormous hole in the lives of Akan and her friends.

Bresson, director of the masterpiece, says:

“Mouchette offers evidence of misery and cruelty.

She is found everywhere: wars, concentration camps, tortures, assassinations.”



For Mouchette. Alice Odilon December 2010.

Amputated Hand trapped for 20 days in bathroom

The forgotten Hand”. Copyright Alice odilon 2010.

“A indeterminate old hand suffering from a mysterious “vasospastic disorder” causing discoloration of the fingers, has survived being trapped in her bathroom in a building in ‘Disruptcity’, in Soreshire for 20 days after the door lock jammed.”

That was the headline on “Disruptcity Gazette”, everybody could find out the 4th of December 2010.

- “See what happened in our building!”, exclaimed the numbed Ragdoll cat to his partner, the wolf masked doll.

- “Gosh! I cannot believe it!

Please read me this right now!

- “An amputated flayed hand has survived being trapped in her bathroom for 20 Days.

The room had no window or phone, so the cold hand was unable to tell anyone but she tapped on pipes during the night, hoping to alert her neighbours.

The Hand-doll trapped in the bathroom”. Copyright Alice odilon 2010.

They thought the noise was  usual ghostly souls dancing around and didn’t noticed it as something unusual.

But one of the occupant Akan.K.  realised they had not seen the pensioner recently and called the authorities, who sent in a rescue crew.

Firefighters broke into 7 th-floor flat in Disrupcity and reportedly found her lying on the ground in the bathroom, in a “very weakened” state.

The amputated hand, who has not been named, had survived on warm tap water for almost three weeks.

She is now recovering in hospital.”

“You could hear banging sounds, like a hammer, even at night,” one neighbour told local media.

“But we thought they were our friends the disembodied missing souls playing around.

We said: ‘They’re having a good time.”

Quite nosy but it’s understandable, they need to stretch their ghostly legs!…. If we had known!”

- And we were sleeping thoroughly ignoring all about this tragedy!

- We must visit this heroic survivor in Hospital!

- Please my Love, take your bag and go with me! told the suddenly enthusiastic Ragdoll to his beloved masked doll.

In two minutes the couple was standing on the pavement at the bus stopping. There, Akan, Blythe Somat, Betsy Mac Call were still waiting.

- I suppose we go to the same destination? asked very excited Betsy.

- Sure! replied everybody. It’s our duty to support Miss Syndra Raynaud. (it was the name of the poor rescued hand).

Several minutes later, our team was facing frail  S. Raynaud in her cold bed in Hospital.

She was very bad, on a pic of a spasms attack:

The team saw and felt the sudden changes in Miss Raynaud’s fingers, triggered by a mysterious stress and deep anxiety.

The skin blanched, turned white, then blue. Fingers and toes tingled and  Miss Raynaud told they’ve began numb, and felt nothing anymore.

Then Akan came near the diseased hand and try to rewarmed her.

The skin flushes pink or red, and then Syndra claimed she got throbbing and soreness in her fingers as the blood surged back into the tiny blood vessels.

Miss Raynaud was swelling visibly and seemed in morbid fire inside.

Please help me to refresh me!

I’ve to tell you, I am the hand of a thief doll who was caught by the police two years ago in Iran.

“The Punishment”. Copyright Alice Odilon 2010

As you know the punishment in this obscure Muslim land, is to practice extreme punishments, such as chopping off the hands of thieves.

That what happened to my owner, a kleptomaniac young doll, lost and confused in a faked tempted world.

I know she survived of this “divinely endorsed “mutilation, but she run away and disappeared.

But I’m still with her, you know, I’m a sort of metonymic trope, a relic and substitute as well.

That’s why I take some andromorphic dolly attitudes with my fingers; one becoming the back bone and the head, the other 4, becoming my limbs, you know????

I have to represent her, in a memory of her.

- I see, said Akan, we have to help you to find this missing doll.

It’s vital for both of you.

that’s the only way to recover for you.

You’ll find peace and relieve when you’ll be reunited.

Please stay calm and avoid any stress.

I know it’s quite impossible because it depends on the life of missing doll, but please be confident, we’re with you and we are going to help you when you come back to the Tower.

All the team was reinforced by the arrival of a new (mutilated) member, which was weak at this stage, but very responsive to what happened here and out there in the dark, where runaway thief doll was in danger.

Alice Odilon. Copyright Novembre 2010


Hemiplegic flower-doll revealed her terrible secret

I don’t know when Akan realized that in her building a paper doll (Betsy Mac Call) lived on the 16th floor and an hemiplegic flower-doll on the second floor.

In fact she met the first in the lift sometimes. But she never saw the other in the elevator, as she probably didn’t like to use it for only 2 floors.

Akan noticed that Miss Flower Doll (her real name was Blythe Somat) seemed to suffer from severe somatic disorders because {she dragged her left leg and her hand was folded back over her forearm}.

Additionally she had a frail body condition and a extremely pale complexion.

But what’s the most mysterious was that this young girl didn’t have a face, her white hair hidden this lack of identity.

And most curious: she didn’t seem to need eyes, mouth and nose.

The question began to be:”How can she see, eat, drink, listen, speak, cry, scream???????”

There was no need for that apparently.


“Betsy Mac Call plays with Blythe Somat in the cemetery”. Copyright Alice Odilon 2010 .

The Flower-Doll was invented By French Psychanalyst Françoise DOLTO in 1950.

No need anymore for speaking, smiling, singing, tasting bread and butter, enjoying coffee, orange juice.

She never had the power of speech.

Undoubtedly she saw and felt with other senses that Akan had never considered in her entire life.

On the other hand, Miss Somat seemed to be aware of everything going on around her and nothing escaped her attention.

It was due to the high level perception of her rod-body.

We can say Miss Flower-doll had no need of a back and front, because they were the same from both sides.

Some weird magnetic thing made her extremely attractive.

Akan was obliged to admit she wanted to know more about Blythe Somat, even if she had to be intrusive.

This particular feeling made Akan guilty and ashamed, but she didn’t want to control this offensive curiosity.

So on the 15th of November 2010, on an awful rainy day, Akan rang at Blythe Somat’s door, in order to invite her for tea.

BS opened the door immediately.

Akan was quite surprised when she saw the blood covering Blythe Somat.

She was still standing but close to a sudden collapse.

- Oh my God! what happened to you, Blythe? asked Akan crying and shaking her hands.

- Miss Somat moved her disabled forearm with the dead hand and tried to say, it was the result of her condition.

She was  just  subject to “somatosensory amplification”: a tendency to perceive normal somatic and visceral sensation as being overly intense in a negative way.

Blythe asked for a pen and a piece of paper to reveal some terrible fact:

- You know, I’m a Flower-doll, a hard-worker:

– I spend all my positive energy in surviving during hours every day, being beaten and abused, and hurt by victim children needing to vent their anger on some generous professional scapegoat.

That’s my job! That’s  the way I pay my rent and holidays.

I’m no good for anything else, you know.

Unable to speak, Akan thought: What a shocking truth she had been reading.

And Flower-Doll wrote some words again: Because I’m such a nice girl, I am a “naughty thing” for abused or narcissistic children in need to evacuate anger and fear.

Do you understand I cure traumatized victims?

I’m quite happy with that. It makes me an essential very important toy-tool.

- Yes, I understand, you are a body of sacrifice.

And then Akan wanted to call 999 when Betsy Mac Call arrived passing the door, claiming the elevator was out of order and what a pain it was to walk 16 floors.

…..to be followed……

Alice Odilon. Novembre 2010.


Pretty Picture found on Forum Pakistan

Akan is back

Akan reprend le flambeau: sauver les femmes et les enfants.


After long weeks of fight against censure and intolerance, Akan, Antablog’s daughter, is coming back, stronger than before, much more motivated to tell about anorexia and Art.

That was a very rude summer for Akan: she thought she was losing Antablog threatened to be deleted by Bluehost because pornographic content.

A sort of nightmare!

Files have been deleted by Bluehost without any consideration and respect of copyright and ownership rights.

Thanks to Sol, Akan’s husband, who wrote immediately to the Better Business Bureau’s Online Complaint System: BBB of Utah.

His complaint was successful reviewed by a specialist at the BBB and then forwarded to Bluehost for their response.

To avoid another very bad publicity, Bluehost was constrained to leave access to Antablog’s database for its transfer to Jushost.

Then Akan retrieved for 48hours access to her files and databases, in order to transfer her websites.

Antablog intellectual property was safe.

So It was a excellent lesson for Akan, anorexic artist, working for women rights, against child abuse, crime wars, runaway persons rights, street workers rights, that she had to choose carefully her web host in order to be not hunted and banished as a witch on the blacklist.

Writing about anorexia and photography, shooting nudity, has nothing to do with pornography, but involves social-political contents which can be easily hidden and shut up by phallocratic, hegemonic, talibanic, capitalist, unilateral power.

And Akan knows that anorexia detains a subversive content, which she wants to analyze to raise untold words of anorexic women.

Alice Odilon. 15 Septembre 2010.


Jane Doe is still with us

Jane Doe still lives amongst us all.
She won’t give up.
I know she’s a recurrent white wave, she continues to die in hidden places in  States,  cities,  roads,  cornfields,
rivers, lakes, black holes, sordid ditches, forgotten cabins in neglected woods and forests.
She always haunts us.
I think about her. She already crossed the line.
She was born to be killed, forgotten, ignored, discarded as  rubbish.
I know her, she is emaciated, she’s got nothing, she loves music and she dreams about love and happiness,
she left everything, she’s scared of abusers, she’s alive and nearly dead.
She wears worn shoes and her skirt glows with a thousand of blood stains particles, her torn-down top lets me see her mangled white tits.
Her naked legs should have run faster than the killer.
But now her little hands open undone for the cold past which should be warmer and most tangible like a smile or stroking.
The skin still smells her intimate life, as vulnerable as when it was alive, as dead.
When she dies, her body begins so heavy and full of soul.
Her soul stays around for a while, a long while until Jane  will burn and rot  in the rain and putrefy.
Jane Doe remains rot-proof in my heart.


Her last belongings reveal her lack of illusion. She would be aware before all of this shit, she would know her murderer, like we breathe.
She’s a special person. Nobody knows her. Except some relatives they never asked for her and abandoned her.
I love her so much.

Alice Odilon.

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