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Isabelle Caro’s soul welcomed in Akan’s Building

11/01/2011 By 1 Comment

In the building, many flats were still available to rent, and it’s not a good thing to leave rooms unoccupied for a long time, as you know, intrusive rats are always looking around to invade warm vacant spaces.
That’s what Akan was worried about and determined to erase the invaders, in her special anorexic area.
When Akan and her friends were told about Isabelle Caro’s death in November 2010, they decided to allocate an apartment to her, even if her body was definitively gone.


“The Empty Flat of Isabelle Caro”. Copyright Alice Odilon 2011


“Isabelle Caro.”Photo Olivero Toscany.

It sounds certainly like a sanctuary, but this flat wouldn’t be opened to the public and would stay empty and full of soul as long as the building existed.
Every day, somebody from the building would come to clean the flat and check the efficiency of the rodent traps and repellents.
It was an obsession for Akan; she suffered from a musophobia since childhood and was unable to deal with it, being tired of tiptoeing around her fears.
Then she realized her terrible anxiety was directly linked with her own anorexia, and influenced a huge part of her excessive self-control behaviour.
Every strong intrusive element, like food, skin contact, eye contact, aggressive interlocution, virile interpellation, was felt like a threat.
This included rats, intrusive, hidden, clever and tough, permanently threatening to appear, to come, to attack.

Rats were unpredictable, and, even hidden, they were present.

Akan felt their omnipresence.
But in a sort of  indecent blind inconsistency, Akan had finally accepted that rats exist and that they might shoot up suddenly in front of her, or behind her.
This means that Akan had dared to live, to deal with her morbid anorexia, she had accepted the violation of food in her body, she had accepted to feed herself.
Still the ghost of rats remained, as an eternal symbol of extreme menace, alarm telling her: “Remember we’re here and you’ll die”.
From now on Akan was able to deal with food, as she got an adequate amount every day, enough to run every day 15km,  but on the other hand, she stayed very weak, concerning relationships with strangers, especially noisy virile persons.
It was possible for Akan to feel Isabelle Caro’s deep suffering, continuously haunted by her hunger, by her needing body,  and this terror to be feed by force in hospital.


“Isabelle Caro”. Google Images.

Anyway, Isabelle Caro sparkled in the sky as a border-line movie star and had been so representative of X bodily metaphor of anorexia, that Akan wanted to
preserve the peace of her embodied soul in this unfurnished white apartment on the 11th floor.

The apartment n° AX 28.

Clever brilliant Isabelle Caro had targeted the Zero incarnation all her life, the X bodily metaphor of anorexia, looking permanently for an embodied soul in a minimal body.
The divine tight face of Isabelle with these jewel-like turquoise bright eyes, erected in the dark blue sky.
Her sad mouth, her tiny nose, her fragile hair were going to dry in the labyrinth of death.
But her eyes would stay everywhere in this flat, in the elevators of the building, in the parking, in the steps, like CCTV.
She had flirted with the risky possibility of existing in a nearly dead body and had rigidly wielded her piercing hypnotic regard every second of her life, to stay alive without food and peace.
This physical envelop in which she had been decked out during the martyrdom of her life, has failed and claimed mercy for an infinite wild abandon.
So for now, the Flat AX28, got a name on the door: Isabelle Caro.
Such a strong silence on the 11th floor, such a bright glimmer coming from inside this place, to light the way of lost anorexic people in the street going nowhere, rejecting rescue, or running away from jail and medical assistance.
Because anorexia is much more than a physical symptom.
Anorexia is asking us to modify the codes of our language.
Something is wrong with our communication, something escapes, unnoticed, sadly ignored by stereotypical understanding.
The place would be staying “empty” to serve the “non-dit” of Isabelle Caro.

Alice Odilon. 10/01/2011

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Filed Under: Alice ODILON, anorexia, artiste de la faim, Bodily metaphor of anorexia, CCTV, control, énergie anorexique, figure de style anorexique, Photography, symptôme anorexique, victim Tagged With: , , , ,

One of the most searing Portraits of doll’s desperation ever put in Akan’s story.

03/12/2010 By 2 Comments

It’s time to tell about essential, minimal, brutal things in Life. Isn’t it?

Akan had tried terribly hard to postpone this moment when a dark whispering murmur of the wind would came.

But it happened despite that.
This wind was the announcement of death.
Somebody in the tower was going to leave tragically.
This doll didn’t deserve to die alone nor endure this hard life.
This black day was actually a relief for this tenant, a squatter in fact.

She had been hiding in a basement for a few days after having run away from Bresson-City.

Her name was Doll “Mouchette”.


She came from the county of Bernanoshire, where she had lived in hardship in Bresson-city.
There she had faced major difficulties: a dying mother, an alcoholic father who was absent, and a baby brother in need of care.


She had been subjected to derision from her teachers.

“Nothing but a little savage” was how the Bresson-city school-teacher had described fourteen-year-old Mouchette, and that view had been echoed by every right-thinking local citizen.
Mouchette had been alone, completely alone, against everyone.”



Her mother was too sick to get out of bed,  Mouchette had been forced to take on the motherly tasks, preparing everyone’s meals and feeding her younger sibling.

At one point, it even looked like she might try breastfeeding when there was no fire on the stove to heat the baby’s milk.



She had been forced to be an adult even before her body was capable.
Also one dark night she had been raped by a bad man in a wood.


As tragedies continued to pile up, she had decided to leave Bresson-city and to take her life into her own hands, like a last act of defiance.
Mouchette doll was the most beautiful of dolls despite her tangled black hair, her dirty nails, and her wooden clogs.
Akan didn’t know Mouchette, until she had gone to bathe in the river with her friend Betsy, anorexic paper-doll and the severed hand of the doll who had disappeared.
It was the spring of 2011 in April.
It was still very chilly and the wind was twisting and twirling the petals of the young trees in bloom.
This supremely delicate dance had attracted a sad person.


“Mouchette finds rescue and peace in the nature”.

A young doll soiled by the earth and misery, with black hair matted and covered with dust, was sitting, stretched out on the ground, on the green bank: Mouchette.

Betsy who was unable to swim, given that her paper body would disintegrate, was also seated on the other side of the river, looking after the towels of her friends, Akan and Syndra Raynaud.

Akan and Syndra were playing in the cool water splashing each other and diving into the depths.
Their bodies glided in the light, with the thinness of Akan’s body magnificent in the light of the ripples, her skin both pale and livid embellishing the river.
Syndra, the severed hand of the doll who had disappeared, with her long fingers, mimicked the touching grace of a starfish.
Syndra became a mischievous mermaid jumping in the silvery waters; her fingers did not feel the slightest cold or the slightest increase in temperature: a kind of provisional harmony!


Suddenly a cry, Betsy, panicked, helpless, witness of the worst, the death of Mouchette.


Mouchette had let herself roll from the top of the bank like a lifeless puppet carried away by her own momentum down the slope.

{Of course, she does it alone, so maybe Bresson isn’t letting us off the hook after all.

Maybe putting up with a hard life leads us to even harder, more isolated positions.

In the prologue, Mouchette’s mother refers to a stone that is inside her, a metaphor for her illness.

But then, it could be where we all end up, weighted down, and the more we struggle, like a bird ensnared in a poacher’s trap, the more it hurts.

Bresson only releases Mouchette by letting that full weight land on her, and thus pushing her under.}

Mouchette let herself slide into the cold water, drown in icy water, on this beautiful sunny morning in mid-April.

Akan and Syndra had seen nothing, but felt the tumult of the circles in the water left by the despairing leap of the Doll Mouchette.


Betsy stiff with pain, dried out with sadness, stiffened even more before the now empty water.

It was April 14, 2011, Doll Mouchette would leave an enormous hole in the lives of Akan and her friends.

Bresson, director of the masterpiece, says:

“Mouchette offers evidence of misery and cruelty.

She is found everywhere: wars, concentration camps, tortures, assassinations.”



For Mouchette. Alice Odilon December 2010.

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Filed Under: Alice ODILON, anorexia, Artist women, depression, despair, figure de style anorexique, heavy loss, Leg-hold trap, oeil accusateur, Photography, pulsion de mort, regard, rescue for abused women, sea star's motion, Seastar, slavery, Solitude, source anorexique, traumatism, victim, violence against women, women help lines Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Amputated Hand trapped for 20 days in bathroom

28/11/2010 By Leave a Comment

The forgotten Hand”. Copyright Alice odilon 2010.

“A indeterminate old hand suffering from a mysterious “vasospastic disorder” causing discoloration of the fingers, has survived being trapped in her bathroom in a building in ‘Disruptcity’, in Soreshire for 20 days after the door lock jammed.”

That was the headline on “Disruptcity Gazette”, everybody could find out the 4th of December 2010.

- “See what happened in our building!”, exclaimed the numbed Ragdoll cat to his partner, the wolf masked doll.

- “Gosh! I cannot believe it!

Please read me this right now!

- “An amputated flayed hand has survived being trapped in her bathroom for 20 Days.

The room had no window or phone, so the cold hand was unable to tell anyone but she tapped on pipes during the night, hoping to alert her neighbours.

The Hand-doll trapped in the bathroom”. Copyright Alice odilon 2010.

They thought the noise was  usual ghostly souls dancing around and didn’t noticed it as something unusual.

But one of the occupant Akan.K.  realised they had not seen the pensioner recently and called the authorities, who sent in a rescue crew.

Firefighters broke into 7 th-floor flat in Disrupcity and reportedly found her lying on the ground in the bathroom, in a “very weakened” state.

The amputated hand, who has not been named, had survived on warm tap water for almost three weeks.

She is now recovering in hospital.”

“You could hear banging sounds, like a hammer, even at night,” one neighbour told local media.

“But we thought they were our friends the disembodied missing souls playing around.

We said: ‘They’re having a good time.”

Quite nosy but it’s understandable, they need to stretch their ghostly legs!…. If we had known!”

- And we were sleeping thoroughly ignoring all about this tragedy!

- We must visit this heroic survivor in Hospital!

- Please my Love, take your bag and go with me! told the suddenly enthusiastic Ragdoll to his beloved masked doll.

In two minutes the couple was standing on the pavement at the bus stopping. There, Akan, Blythe Somat, Betsy Mac Call were still waiting.

- I suppose we go to the same destination? asked very excited Betsy.

- Sure! replied everybody. It’s our duty to support Miss Syndra Raynaud. (it was the name of the poor rescued hand).

Several minutes later, our team was facing frail  S. Raynaud in her cold bed in Hospital.

She was very bad, on a pic of a spasms attack:

The team saw and felt the sudden changes in Miss Raynaud’s fingers, triggered by a mysterious stress and deep anxiety.

The skin blanched, turned white, then blue. Fingers and toes tingled and  Miss Raynaud told they’ve began numb, and felt nothing anymore.

Then Akan came near the diseased hand and try to rewarmed her.

The skin flushes pink or red, and then Syndra claimed she got throbbing and soreness in her fingers as the blood surged back into the tiny blood vessels.

Miss Raynaud was swelling visibly and seemed in morbid fire inside.

Please help me to refresh me!

I’ve to tell you, I am the hand of a thief doll who was caught by the police two years ago in Iran.

“The Punishment”. Copyright Alice Odilon 2010

As you know the punishment in this obscure Muslim land, is to practice extreme punishments, such as chopping off the hands of thieves.

That what happened to my owner, a kleptomaniac young doll, lost and confused in a faked tempted world.

I know she survived of this “divinely endorsed “mutilation, but she run away and disappeared.

But I’m still with her, you know, I’m a sort of metonymic trope, a relic and substitute as well.

That’s why I take some andromorphic dolly attitudes with my fingers; one becoming the back bone and the head, the other 4, becoming my limbs, you know????

I have to represent her, in a memory of her.

- I see, said Akan, we have to help you to find this missing doll.

It’s vital for both of you.

that’s the only way to recover for you.

You’ll find peace and relieve when you’ll be reunited.

Please stay calm and avoid any stress.

I know it’s quite impossible because it depends on the life of missing doll, but please be confident, we’re with you and we are going to help you when you come back to the Tower.

All the team was reinforced by the arrival of a new (mutilated) member, which was weak at this stage, but very responsive to what happened here and out there in the dark, where runaway thief doll was in danger.

Alice Odilon. Copyright Novembre 2010


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Filed Under: Alice ODILON, amputation, Art for Life, Art in jail, Artist women, control, despair, figure de style anorexique, heavy loss, missing limb, phantom pain, Photography, pulsion de mort, Solitude, traumatism, victim, violence against women, women help lines Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The wolf masked doll and the ragdoll cat

23/11/2010 By Leave a Comment

On the third floor of Akan’s building, a recently refreshed flat was to let after being unoccupied for 2 years.

Akan, bored most of the time, was very curious about the announced foreigner renters coming from Paris, and thought:

- “It’s so wonderful to get French neighbors in this place, as I’m fade up to speak in English, it’s so hard, their poor spelling, their innumerable grammar errors makes me more unmotivated to learn it.”

So, on First of December 2010, a couple arrived by cab, followed by two blue removals lorries.

Blue like the large eyes of the blue colourpointed tabby ragdoll cat boy accompanying his partner: a fragile charming wolf masked doll.

“The Wounded blue colourpoint tabby ragdoll cat”. Alice Odilon 2010


This cat seemed so docile and floppy that Akan was going to understand nearly the compatibility between the guy and the frail mysterious girl.

The wolf masked doll. 2010. Copyright Alice Odilon.

“What a mysterious couple! Akan thinks watching them enter the elevator accompanied by a removals man with broad shoulders.

They must be very tired after the day’s journey!”

Betsy Mac Call rang at Akan’s door to ask her some questions concerning the Newcomers.

Everyone knows that Akan, more observant than most, takes the time to observe the silence, emptiness, absence, and also the people who pass.

- “You talked to them, she asked, eagerly ?????

They are going to live above my friend Blythe Somat and I don’t want them to be too noisy, given the exhausting physical efforts that Flower-Doll (Blythe Somat) goes through every day.

The night is her only respite, the only way to recharge her nocturnal Chlorophyll for her stem and her poor injured leaves!

As to her petals, if he still has them a year from now, I’ll believe in miracles!

I am very worried for Blythe, you know!”

-”Don’t worry so much, I feel that these people act with discretion and shyness, even docility.

The young masked doll gives herself a severe look with her false wolf face, but I think that behind it she is sweet, she must be very soft.”

- “But a wolf can be sweet, you know?

Wolves are afraid of men and do not want them hurt.

Men have always hunted them and have given them this bad reputation as of eaters children.

http://lesmoyensgrands.over-blog.com/

In fact wolves are menaced by extinction due to men.”

“Yes, it happens that a wolf shows its teeth to say that it will attack or to warn of its discontent.

“Angry Wolf”. unknown author.

But in fact wolves are afraid of men and can even look friendlier than real dogs.

I have even seen wolves in films as tame as the fox in the book “Le Petit Prince” by St Exupery.

I saw the mask of this girl changes expressions, sometimes affectionate and friendly, sometimes aggressive and threatening, seeming to protect her partner.

And it’s very strange: I had the time to watch the eyes of Mr Cat and the features of his little face, I thought I felt a huge weakness in terms of his ability to defend himself.

He seemed utterly defeated.

His magnificent eyes know everything and say nothing.

“The Wolf masked Doll and Sir ragdoll Cat”. Copyright Alice Odilon 2010.


They absorb the mirrors of images, but they deliver nothing of their mysterious experience.

- In my opinion, said  Akan, it is stupid to talk about these nice people without having meet them.

And why talk about them?”

- “True, after all, let’s go and welcome them.”

Thus Akan and Betsy, the anorexic paper-doll, went up to the third floor and rang the bell.

- “Yes, hello”, said the young and beautiful masked doll undoing the three locks on the door.

- “Hello, we want to offer you our help, if you need it, on your installation in the tower and this new life here.

You come from Paris don’t you?”

- “Yes. Already I feel completely lost without my Parisian streets, and my “petit pain au chocolat”;

it’s awful, I feel as though I’m lost in a black forest, black ……”

- “Don’t worry, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

- Then Mr. Ragdoll cat showed the tip of his nose from out of the thick hair of the masked doll.

“The shy Ragdoll cat and the Wolf masked Doll”. Copyright alice odilon 2010


He seemed so shy and withdrawn, so self-effaced.

And so sweet …..

Akan had an urge to caress him and watch him more, but Miss Doll stepped forward and blocked this generous intention.


- “My Friend Ragdoll needs time to get acquainted;

he is so mild that people see him as a rag doll and play with him by throwing him in the air, or by suffocating him on the couch.

I can tell you all that I’m watching out; as elsewhere I lost my face and a mask was auto generated on my beautiful doll’s face, a mask to frighten, to scare off ill-intentioned people.”

- “Can I get a word? ventured courageously  into the dark, the almost secret voice of the cat.

Excuse me, Ladies, for being so reserved, but my Mother Josephine was hit by a car and leaving in the commas in which she had sunk many years.

After being woke up she got married and gave birth to me, if I may say so.

I have of my mother, something special: I’m insensitive to pain, very quiet, maybe too quiet.

It comes from my Mother, her accident so terrible, so traumatic, suffering, agony, no …..

I do not fear the turmoil surrounding, because if there is shock, I do feel that the passive energy.

Which does not interfere in any way my handlers: on the contrary, knowing that I do not bristled, they mistreat me even more to assuage their fears, their misfortune of being possibly abused somewhere.

I’m here, and I never suffer.

But cons  I am shy, very shy.”

A sparkling diamond tear rolled down the lean cold cheek of Akan, while Betsy kept her hands tight to hide her emotion of grief, and happiness also, to have in the tower, so charming new neighbors.

Alice Odilon. Copyright Novembre 2010.


Au troisième étage de l’immeuble Akanien, un appartement innocupé depuis deux ans et récemment rafraîchi, était à louer depuis peu.

Akan, s’ennuyant la plupart du temps, fut très excitée quand elle apprit la venue de nouveaux locataires venant de Paris.

- “C’est trop génial!’ s’écria-t’elle, des français! je suis si dégoûtée de parler avec des anglais qui prononcent la moitié des mots, et font des erreurs de grammaire dans toutes leurs phrases.

Ainsi donc, le 1er décembre 2010, un couple dans un taxi descendit devant l’immeuble, suivi par deux camions bleus de déménagement;

Bleu comme les yeux immenses du chat ragdoll blue colourpointed tabby accompagnant sa partenaire: une fragile poupée au masque de loup.


- “Quel mystérieux couple! se dit Akan en les regardant entrer dans l’ascenseur, accompagnés par un déménageur aux larges épaules.

Ils devaient être bien fatigués après cette journée de voyage!”

Betsy Mac Call sonna à la porte de Akan pour venir lui poser quelques questions concernant les nouveaux arrivants;

Tout le monde sait bien que Akan, regarde plus que les autres, perd du temps à absorber le silence, le vide, l’absence et aussi les gens qui passent.

- “Vous leur avez parlé, demanda-t’elle, empressée?????

C’est qu’ils vont habiter au dessus de mon amie Blythe Somat et je ne souhaiterais pas qu’ils soient trop bruyants, étant données les épreuves physiques interminables que Blythe Flower-Doll supporte par jour.

La nuit est son seul répit, la seule et unique façon de se ressourcer en Chlorophylle nocturne, pour sa tige et ses pauvres feuilles blessées!

Quant à ses pétales, s’il lui en reste encore dans un an, je croirai au miracle.

Je suis très inquiète pour Blythe Somat, vous savez!”

- ” Ne vous inquiétez pas autant, j’ai le sentiment que ces gens agissent avec discrétion et timidité, voir docilité.

La jeune poupée masquée se donne des airs sévères avec son faux visage de loup, mais je me dis que derrière, c’est doux, cela doit être très doux.”

- “Mais un loup peut-être doux, vous savez?

Les loups craignent les hommes et ne leur veulent pas de mal.

Les hommes les ont toujours chassés et leur ont donnée cette sale réputation de dévoreurs d’enfants.

En fait les loups sont menacés d’extinction par les hommes.”

- “Oui, il arrive qu’un loup montre les dents pour dire qu’il va attaquer ou pour avertir de son mécontentement.

Mais en fait les loups ont peur des hommes et peuvent avoir des allures de chien plus doux qu’un vrai chien.

J’ai même vu dans des films des loups apprivoisés comme le renard du petit Prince de St Exupéry.

Le masque de cette fille là, j’ai vu, change d’expression, tantôt câline et accueillante, tantôt offensive et menaçante, semblant protéger son partenaire.

Et c’est très étrange: j’ai eu le temps de regarder les yeux de Monsieur Chat ainsi que les traits de son minois, j’ai cru sentir une faiblesse immense quant à ses possibilités de se défendre.

Il semble totalement vaincu.

Ses yeux splendides savent tout et n’en disent rien.

Ils absorbent les miroirs des images, mais ils ne livrent rien de leur mystérieuse expérience.

À mon avis, s’écrit Akan, il est stupide de parler de ces sympathiques personnes sans les avoir rencontrer.

Et pourquoi parler d’eux?”

- “C’est vrai, à la fin, allons leur souhaiter la bienvenue.”

Ainsi Akan et Betsy, l’anorexique paper-doll, se rendent au 3è étage et tirent la sonnette.

- “Oui, bonjour,” annonça la belle et jeune poupée masquée en cédant les 3 verrous de la porte d’entrée.

- “Bonjour, Nous souhaitons vous offrir tous nos services si vous en avez besoin, concernant votre installation dans la tour et cette nouvelle vie ici.

Vous venez de Paris n’est-ce pas?”

- “Oui. Déjà, je me sens complètement perdue sans mes rues de Paris, et mes petits pains au chocolat; c’est affreux, je me sens égarée dans une forêt noire, noire……”

- “Allons ne vous en faites pas, si vous avez besoin de quoi que ce soit, n’hésitez pas.”

- Ainsi Monsieur Ragdoll montra le bout de son nez entre l’épaisse chevelure de la poupée masquée.

Il semblait en retrait et si timide, si effacé.

Et si doux…..

Akan eut envie de le caresser et le regarder plus longuement, mais la Miss Doll fit un pas en avant et se mit en travers de ce généreux élan.

- “Mon Ami Ragdoll a besoin de temps pour faire connaissance.

Il est si passif que les gens le considèrent comme une poupée de chiffon et jouent avec en le jetant en l’air, ou en l’étouffant sur le canapé.

J’aime autant vous dire que je veille au grain; tant d’ailleurs que j’en ai perdu la face et un masque s’est autogénéré sur mon beau visage de poupée, un masque pour faire peur, pour éloigner les joueurs malfaisants.

L’épaisseur de ce masque noir de velours de loup, fait corps avec la chair et les os de ma tête; J’ai perdu mon visage, j’ai gardé mes yeux noisettes de poupée, mais des traits de ma personne, émane un loup noir.

Maintenant mon masque peut changer d’expression entre la plus docile et la plus défensive.”


“Monsieur Ragdoll et la poupée au masque de loup”. Alice Odilon 2010.


- “Puis-je placer un mot? s’aventura courageusement dans l’ombre, la voix presque secrète du chat.

Excusez-moi, Mesdemoiselles, d’être si réservé, mais ma Mère Joséphine, fut percutée par une voiture,  laissée pour morte, et, finalement sortie du commas dans lequel elle avait sombré pendant de nombreuses années, s’est mariée et m’a donné naissance, si je puis dire.

J’ai de ma Mère, quelque chose de spécial: je suis insensible à la douleur, très calme, trop calme peut-être.

cela vient de ma Mère, son accident si terrible, si traumatisant, la souffrance, l’agonie, l’absence…..

Je suis comme elle, je ne crains pas les turbulences environnantes, car, si chocs il y a, je n’en ressens que la passive énergie.

Ce qui ne gêne en aucune manière mes manipulateurs: bien au contraire, sachant que je ne me rebiffe pas, ils me maltraitent encore plus, pour assouvir leur peur, leur malheur d’être peut-être aussi abusés quelque part.

Je suis là, et je ne souffre jamais.

Mais par contre je suis timide, très timide.”

Une étincelante larme diamantée coula sur la joue maigre et froide de Akan, tandis que Betsy serrait ses poings très forts pour dissimuler son émotion de chagrin, et de bonheur aussi, d’avoir dans la tour, de si charmants nouveaux voisins.

Alice Odilon. Novembre 2010 Copyright.


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Anorexic paper doll

19/10/2010 By 6 Comments

Anorexic Akan was thinking about the little paper doll she had just met.

Such a convulsive paroxysmal figure!
There was so much suffering in this paper girl!


“Sweet A-paper-doll”. copyright Alice Odilon 2010.


What could childhood have been like in this sheet embodied little girl?

Effectively she was consciously flat and light  self-embodied, because it was certainly the only way she had found to stay alive.
Becoming a featureless flat creature, glossy and nearly transparent, fragile and weak like a sheet of paper!
Can you imagine the sort of life she must have had until that day?


Akan knew why she had refused to get a rear facet and a thick body with inside vital organs and dark entrails.
She had to care for her life every second, because at anytime a bad thing might happen to her, coming from behind, or from the side.
Something hurting her deeply, even though she was only a sheet of paper.
Betsy Mac Call exhibited this frontal view without secrets and sexual entry, because she had been abused by adult eyes, by adult hands, by adult sex.
And she was not able to deal with that again.

But not only that, Betsy Mac Call was the “object a” of an empowered mother with a bewitching enchanting voice and  sharp hazel eyes, who left no place for life and security.

This amazing woman losing all her dreams about being famous, had been constrained to marry a busy successful man, who had fucked her regularly and lead her to successive pregnancies in the bloom of her life.

And then, that was that.

Betsy standing here in the middle of nowhere, like a ghostly stiff shape without shade, without consideration, without any weight of importance.

Furthermore Dad had nothing to do with all this unilateral ascendancy, he worked too much and had dreams.Dreams of freedom and beauty.
He was so far from seeing, or guessing, what was happening in Betsy’s life.
Yes this uncomfortable incarnation of paper life represented the perfect hell of anorexia.
Akan recognized fellow feeling in her heart and fell under the charm of Betsy Mac Call.

Permanently heartbroken Betsy could be torn up and used as a sop by anyone, easily pleased and happy to play with weaker women,  innocent creature.
Shameless people could burn her with cigarettes and consume her entire body in a second of life.
And then other potbellied women might crumple her and hurt her to death,  by bending her in several pieces or pulling her to lethal bits.
Then Akan thought about Betsy’s eyes, limbs, and thin core.
So much aggressiveness could be spread on her defenseless expressive body.
It seemed Betsy had accepted to play the rule of the perfect victim.


Alice ODILON. 19 of october 2010.

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Filed Under: Alice ODILON, anorexia, Art for Life, artiste de la faim, Bodily metaphor of anorexia, depression, despair, figure de style anorexique, schéma corporel, traumatism, victim Tagged With: , , ,
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