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You will fly but first, you will struggle for life

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“Penguins in the Blizzard”. Google Images.

“Every Day, in front of the other pensioners of rescue center, deep in the most pitiless group of anorexic persons, a truly remarkable journey will take place.”

- That would be the Treatment to recover in Akan’s Tower, announced Syndra Raynaud, the “Right Hand Woman” of Akan.

- “Because for you, guys, anorexic winners, life is like that, harsh and inhospitable”, added inconspicuously, the shy Ragdoll.

Each of you will be a survivor, and will have to deal with , staying alive.

Every pensioner in rescue center, will abandon the deep sweet security of its bedroom and clamber onto the commune area to begin its long struggle against anorexia: a such desolate land, a region so bleak, so extreme, it support no other life.

- “The greatest fear you have, the fear to live, the fear to loose control, the fear to eat, the fear to breathe, you will beat it”.

Said Blythe Somat, the hemiplegic flower doll, who was in charge of anorexic patients suffering from Asperger Syndrom as well.

- “So you will play a game, all together”.

- The game inspired by “The Emperor’s Journey”.

 

1972: Survivors found 10 weeks after plane crash in the Argentine Andes. Google Images.

(Four days after the rescue, a Santiago paper alleged that the survivors became cannibals to ward off .
The group confirmed that they ate human flesh at a press conference two days later.)

 

You will have to accomplish tests of extreme endurance, during which you will have to rely on the united anorexic members of the group, their physical warmth, their spiritual presence, their , their .

You will share body heat to conserve energy and protect the “protégé” you will have to care about constantly.

You will realize you cannot hate the other anorexic persons, as you did before; because you were scared about their special regard and knowledge of anorexia secrets.

Only Love and solidarity will help to struggle for life.

 

“Child survivors dressed in clothes made from German uniforms”
(One of the youngest survivors of the Buchenwald concentration camp, shown in the center of the photograph above, was four-year-old Josef Schleifstein.The Communist prisoners, who were in charge of the day-to-day administration of the camp, made sure that the children were well cared for. Note the adult man in the back row wearing a beret to identify himself as a Communist.)

You won’t have food during the periods of survival in the course of which you will have to completely deny yourself and to think only of your “protégé”: the small infant who will be entrusted to each of you, from today, from now.

This Baby is you when you where a newborn, just before anorexia,  before lack of love and good care of your mother.

So you will be in charge of yourself, as a baby and in the same time, as an adult.

It will lead to you to a point of survival self-experiment.

At this point you will have to choose to live or to die.

. 17/07/2011

 ”The Penguins chicks survivors in the Blizzard”/ Ref: “The Emperor’s Journey”.

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Si c’était à refaire, je reprendrai le chemin de l’anorexie

Top of Fur By Issey MIYAKE  copie

Top of Fur By Issey MIYAKE  copie

“Super-model SandraHeidoff” Issey Miyake piece. 2003 Copyright

“J’ai marché des heures pour retrouver ma conscience et j’ai su que j’avais bien fait dès mes 12 ans. Cette me tendait les bras, avec sa force et sa bravoure, ma seule protection, ma seule amie. La dame blanche de l’ m’a appelée et m’a montré le chemin.

Face à l’indifférence peureuse de mon père, le mépris d’ignorance dont il avait fait preuve, et face à la jalousie morbide et aveugle de ma mère, qu’aurais-je pu faire de mieux?????

En revenant sur les lieux de mon enfance, je me rends compte que mon choix était le bon.

L’anorexie fut la meilleure arme que je puisse utiliser et aimer.

P1150279 copie

 

“l’Arc de Lucrecia”. 12/05/2013. Copyrights Alice Odilon. No clone is free.

13/05/2013

Alice Odilon. All rights reserved.

 

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L’anorexie comme privation de la mort?

Julie 05 34 copie

Julie 04 24

 
Julie/Paris Atelier Savier 1999. Copyright
 
{Accoutume-toi sur ce point à penser que pour nous la mort n’est rien, puisque tout bien et tout mal résident dans la sensation, et que la mort est privation de nos sensations,
mais que l’ n’est pas la privation de sensations, bien au contraire.
 
Dès lors la juste prise de conscience que la mort ne nous est rien autorise à jouir du caractère mortel de la vie:
non pas en lui conférant une durée infinie, mais en l’amputant du désir d’immortalité.
 
Dès lors les personnes qui flirtent avec l’anorexie, ne doivent pas nous apparaître comme
mortes vivantes, mais comme vivantes et mortelle comme tous les humains.
 
Il s’ensuit qu’il n’y a rien d’effrayant dans le fait de vivre, pour qui est radicalement conscient qu’il n’existe rien d’effrayant non plus dans le fait de ne pas vivre.
 
Il s’ensuit qu’il n’y a rien d’effrayant de croiser une personne anorexique et d’essayer de l’aimer,
pour qui est radicalement conscient qu’il n’existe rien d’effrayant non plus dans le fait de ne pas vivre.
 
 
 
Stupide est donc celui qui dit avoir horreur des anorexiques, non parce qu’il souffre de voir
l’apparence morte d’une personne vivante anorexique, mais parce qu’il souffre à l’idée
de sa propre mort qui approche.
 
 
Le plus effrayant des maux, la mort, ne nous est rien, disais-je : quand nous sommes, la mort n’est pas là, et quand la mort est là, c’est nous qui ne sommes pas !
 
 
Le plus effrayant des maux, la mort, ne nous est rien, dit Epicure, quand une personne anorexique
est comme elle est, avec toute sa maladie et sa foi de vie, sa force de vie, la mort n’est pas là,
et quand la mort est là, c’est nous tous qui ne sommes pas.
 
 
 
L’anorexie concerne les vivants, étant donné que ce sont des vivants qui en souffrent
et qui ont besoin du support des autres vivants pour échapper à une mort trop tôt pressentie.
 
Epicure dragué par Alice Odilon 3/2/2013
 
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La Tour Akanienne ou le lieu des états modifiés de conscience

Pierre-Bonnard-Table-Set-in-a-Garden-5193

L’ est la réalité, le “stimuli” dans la vie de d’Akan; un état de veille, un rêve de corps invivable, un sommeil profond d’un chagrin immense.

Vivre simultanément un régime alimentaire drastique tout en persistant dans l’ d’acuité visuelle, coexistant avec un entraînement d’athlète marathonienne, met Akan en contact avec l’Absolu qui n’est autre pour elle que le Réel.

Il s’agit d’un jeu d’équilibriste entre le rêve éveillé alimenté par une nourriture essentielle considérée comme “pure”,  et l’effort extrême du corps.

Les gens disent: “L’anorexie c’est mourir vivante”, et cependant Akan vit sa vie d’ascète, intensément, esprit au travail, corps au travail permanent.

Cela demande un détachement physique et en même temps un effort musculaire soutenu.

Quand je regarde Akan, je vois son corps rejoindre l’état d’un cerisier en fleur, lié au ciel et la lumière.

Elle semble avoir atteint un niveau de conscience sensorielle élargie, où elle appréhende sa place de manière transparente, infiniment discrète et fragile.

Elle vit le présent sans attendre de bonnes choses venant de l’avenir.

Elle est une bête silencieuse, presque invisible.

Tout naturellement la tour akanienne est devenu le nid des personnes en état modifié de conscience.

La tour est comme un arbre en fleurs.



“La Tour Akanienne”. Avril 2011.

 

Des personnages fleurs,  simples, perdus dans des valeurs perdues, avec des rêves de bonheur comme celui de vivre dans un tableau de Pierre Bonnard, assis à la table du  jardin sous les ombrages.

 

“Table set in a garden”. Pierre Bonnard.


Alice Odilon. Avril 2011.

 

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5 anorexic candidates and 3 babies

Asaël Rienick and Avatan NIHILI

The Game had begun a few hours after our 5 sure candidates had signed their contracts and swore they would take care of 3 newborn human babies.

One of them was entrusted to Asaël Rienick and Avatan Nihili, another one to Whitswimm and Aza Wahk, and the Third one, to single “parent” : Tige Ald.

 

Asaël Rienick, the Tightrope sleepwalker and Avatan Nihili the teenager.

 

Whiteswimm the Ballerina and Aza Wakh the marathonian girl.

 

 Tige Ald the Contorsionnist.

Then the clauses and terms were clearly established: Just 2 Candidates and a baby will get an at the end of the competition.

In fact this challenge consisted in successive tests of resistance as long walks, , test of courage and ability to fast for months and potentiality to huddle tightly in order to endure extremely harsh conditions of abuse, freezing temperatures, hostile attitude of potential meet people, depression, despair, self-destruction, suicide drive…..

For the first time since the beginning of the competition, Akan came in the meeting room of Rehab Center and told to the assembly all about the rules.

All candidates had to go to main gym hall, and prepare to run for 26,2 miles on tread mill running.

(There is no doubt that challenging an anorexic body to run 26.2miles, takes more than a huge amount of commitment, compromises and sacrifices.)

But were our frail candidates able to take on this challenge?

They would be served all the energetic and tasty breakfast they would need before, whether they wanted or not, they would have to be ready after meal for the on Tread mill running.

Asaël Rienick, Aza Wakh, and Tige Ald would have to carry their precious treasure: the baby, 8 days old, coming from Orphanage, found on the street, lost and unwanted little creature.

Then after this “easy” run, Asaël Rienick would entrusted her baby to Avatan Nihili; Aza Wakh would do the same to Whiteswimm and Tige Ald would have to keep the baby for another round.

I know it was completely unfair to give to one candidate a double target to reach, but life is like that, cruel and unjust, pitiless as well.

As you know certainly, anorexic people don’t like eating normal meal, absorbing usual need of calories to win and to breathe, either to survive.

Because anorexic people find their strength in a secret part of their self: their .

- So, as expected, nobody touched the buffet before the first test of resistance.

Unlike their own starvation, our candidates had been immediately involved in their new babysitter role, and never babies received such nice care and attention.

- You need to know that anorexic mothers, (in despite their past of abused children and deprived of love during their childhood) are excellent mothers, because “L’amour c’est donner ce que l’on a pas reçu”.

- Yes Our candidates presented all signs to be “good-enough Mothers “. (as described by Donald Winnicot)

{“The good-enough mother…starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant’s growing ability to deal with her failure…” (from “Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena,” 1951)}

Each baby had been a priority, (every pair of candidates and solo Tige Ald had been excellent nurses, with love, attention and lot of cuddles accorded to the demanding child they had to take care about.

- Anorexic people have always reserve of energy in mind, and some are able to struggle for a marathon, that means 3-4 hours of intensive .

But after, they’re more than empty and have to admit to be feed even a little bit.

Hypoglycemia represents one of biggest threat on Marathon and collapsing can happen suddenly when blood sugar below 70mg/dL. Blood sugars at this level can harm you badly.

“Untreated, hypoglycemia from too much insulin can lead to loss of consciousness and coma.

Severe hypoglycemia is a medical emergency that may result in seizures and permanent damage to the nervous system if not treated.

Severe hypoglycemia that results in unconsciousness is also called insulin shock.”

In despite all of these common ideas of good tips for good runner, our three anorexic young women were able to finish their marathon in less than 3 hours, with baby on the back, sleeping tight and having sweet dreams, feeling secure with “Running Mummy”.

. 29/07/2011. All rights reserved.

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