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The defiance of anorexia

Copyright Alice ODILON june 2009. “Défi-Jane”. Tous droits réservés. No clone is free.

As a photographer and as an anorexic woman photographer,

I’ve always used expressionists ways, and border-line ways to express myself with my photographs since 1977.

I didn’t choose the easy way, the aseptic way, the fashion way to tell the implacable illness I had to deal with,

and the exceptional gift of anorexia: sharp-eye, acute lucidity, specific search in the Absolute.

At the age of 17, I began my self-portraits, without fear and superficiality, trying to connect with my authentic life.

It was in 1982, my first exhibition in Galerie 666, rue Maître Albert, Paris 4ème, was a time bomb,

because nobody told about anorexia, expect Valérie Valère or Sheila MacLeod and Julia Kristeva.

The secret language of anorexia became public and it was the first time, anorexic self-portraits

were showed in a Gallery (Galerie 666 – PARIS ) in the world. (Gallery closed in 1988).


Today many pseudo artists play with the subject which has became a growth niche.

And now the subject is sterilized and covered up with esthetic commercial pictures they’re sold in Art fairs.

But the tortured soul of anorexia is still here and stays helpless and uncontrollable.

I tried to “enter” my work on wikipedia in order to participate to the “community”.

I was immediately rejected, because I work on the reasons of anorexia and not on the effects.


In addition of this, I’ve watched a program on TV about Stockholm solution in a specialized clinic


for anorexic daughters of wealthy families, which was the perfect demonstration of a growth business.


That’s only industry, diet clinic industry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_zajjRbyEo&feature=related


I’ve seen pictures made by deutsch photographer Yvonne Thein.


[These pictures were "intended as a mocking and satirical take on pro-ana".

But these pictures have been nevertheless used as inspiration by anorexic persons. Wikipedia ]

That means for me, these double edged pictures equivocate deliberately.


Because I think this photographer is in love with anorexic allure.

When I took a close look about these pictures, I realized they were a plagiary of my work already done a long time before:

http://www.aliceodilon.com/index.php?/category/130

http://www.aliceodilon.com/index.php?/category/132


The obvious plagiary is flagrant.

She just copied my pictures.

She stole ideas, style, form, look and feel, identity of my work, my author’s rights with her total witting plagiary of my work.

For me the reason of this big mistake is she’s not anorexic and she speaks about something she doesn’t know.

She just used the symbol of extreme sharp thinness and the shield of virginity and beauty of “blé en herbe” because

she deeply, aspired to this buried, concealed estheticism. There is only a question of myth of inaccesible abstract beauty.

In my opinion, if she wanted to denounce pro-ana websites, she had to show real body of anorexic persons and not this soft,

clean, coquettish “verdict”.

Because the reality of anorexic body is:

( Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa)



Stunted growth

Endocrine disorder, leading to cessation of periods in females (amenorrhoea)

Decreased libido; impotence in males

Reduced metabolism, slow heart rate (bradycardia), hypotension,

orthostatic hypotension, hypothermia, inappropriate sinus tachycardia and anemia

Abnormalities of mineral and electrolyte levels in the body

Thinning of the hair

Growth of lanugo hair over the body

Constantly feeling cold

Abnormalities of mineral and electrolyte levels

Zinc deficiency

Potassium deficiency

Refeeding syndrome

Reduction in white blood cell count

Reduced immune system function

Pallid complexion and sunken eyes

Patulous eustachian tube

Creaking joints and bones

Osteoporosis

Collection of fluid in ankles during the day and around eyes during the night or peripheral oedema

Tooth decay

Dry skin

Dry or chapped lips

Poor circulation (cool peripheries), resulting in common attacks of ‘pins and

needles’ (Parathesia)and purple extremities


with a constant terrible suffering overwhelming body and soul.


Superficiality is not proper.

Alice ODILON


copyright Alice ODILON June 2009 – “Crutch” . tous droits réservés. No clone is free.

The arm-hold trap

La nuit tombe bleue marine sur la ville où s’endorment Akan et la jeune fille, loin l’une de l’autre, dans un quartier opposé de la cité.

Elles ne se parlent plus maintenant.

Akan dans son lit repense à la demoiselle aux hirondelles.

Elle a peur pour elle.

C’est dans la peau de la jeune fille désormais, la peau neuve a été tatouée.

Le dessin splendide doit lui faire mal à cette heure ci.

Non parce qu’il s’agit d’une plaie, mais parce qu’il s’agit d’un terrible acte manqué à l’envers.

Il n’est cependant plus question de rature, hachure à l’encre noire.

“Le bras aux hirondelles”. copyright Alice ODILON 2010.

Pour la gamine, ce tatouage indélébile conclue son amour incontrôlé pour sa mère; pour celle-ci il s’agit d’une fantaisie, d’un message impubère.

Mais alors que c’est-il donc passé?

Quel est ce quiproco dans la peau, si douloureux et virtueusement regardable?

- J’ai voulu faire entrer les hirondelles dans mon ciel, et Akan avec, raconte la jeune fille dans son sommeil profond.

Je désirais les garder en moi, de crainte qu’elles ne s’envolent.

C’était la seule chose à laquelle je pouvais vraiment m’accrocher.

Cette pensée pour ma Mère.

Et je sentais Akan partir, vers la fin de sa vie et je l’ai retenue.

Ecrire ma mère dans ma peau représentait le pacte le plus réel de mon destin.

Sacraliser Akan c’était aussi la faire mienne pour que je puisse vivre enfin.

Toutes ces écritures à l’extérieur de moi, m’ont paniquée et se devaient d’être captées dans mon derme.

Je demande l’absolution afin que je puisse regarder l’intérieur de mon bras, sans la hantise du membre étranger.

Que ce cauchemar cesse à jamais, que ma mère ne craigne plus d’être dans ma peau.

Oh! Maman que m’as-tu fait en partant de ma vie?????

J’ai tellement eu peur pour toi, toujours.

Maman reviens moi, reste en moi, que je puisse vivre sans ta présence!

- Dans la nuit bleue marine, Akan ne peut plus dormir.

Ses longues jambes fuselées remuent lentement sous le drap.

A l’intérieur de ses bras maigres, s’endort une petite fille au bras hachuré d’oiseaux.

Son corps anorexique lui parle de la jeune femme aux hirondelles.



Alice ODILON. Copyright Alice ODILON 2010.

Navy Blue Night falls on the exile city where sleep Akan and the girl far away from each other in an opposite area of the city.

They do not talk anymore.

Akan in her bed, thinks about the swallow tattoo girl.

She is worried about her.

It’s in the skin of the girl right now. The new skin has been tattooed.

The virtuous design is certainly hurting her arm at this time.

Not because it is a wound, but because it is a terrible Lacanian backwards slip.

However, there is no question anymore of erasing, neither black ink hatching on the flesh.

For the girl, this uncontrolled indelible tattoo concludes her love for her mother.

For the the last one it is a fantasy, a message coming from someone below the age of puberty.


So what happened then?

What is this quiproco in the skin, so painful and virtuous watchable ?

- I wanted to show the swallows and  Akan in my sky, says the young girl in her deep sleep.

I wanted to keep them in me, I was so scared they flied away.

It was the only thing I could really hang on.

This memory of my Mother.

And I felt Akan leaving, towards the end of her life and I retained her.

Writing my mother in my skin was the most real covenant of my destiny.

Making Akan sakred, was although making her, mine, in order I could live finally.

I panicked, all these entries outside of me, had to be trapped in my skin.

I’m asking for absolution so that I can watch inside of my arm without the phantom pain specter of a missing limb.

Let this nightmare stops forever, let my mother no longer fears being in my skin.

Oh Mom! what have you done to my life ?????

I’m so afraid for you, always.

Mom be back to me, remains in me, then I can live without you!

- In the navy blue night, Akan can not sleep.

Her long slender legs slowly stir in the sheet.

Within her thin arms, a little girl with hatched birds on her limb, falls asleep.

Disembodied Akan dreams about the limbless baby.



Alice ODILON. Copyright 2010.




Anorexic Fantasy

{One of Einstein’s great insights was to realize that matter and energy are really different forms of the same thing.

Matter can be turned into energy, and energy into matter.}

The “anorexic field” delivers content because it gets a lack of existence generating “bodily space-time”.

The anorexic feels pure energy largely invisible and executing essential actions.

During the anorexic travel, the physical body lives almost suspended and cannot communicate in real time with others.

The continuum space-time has four dimensions: for three-dimensional space, x, y, and z, and for a time t.

To handle more easily, it is arranged that the four axis are uniform at a distance by multiplying t by the constant c.

The body of the anorexic girl is measured as any other mass diagram XYZ and the 4th dimension: time.

But in the case of the anorexic girl, the homogeneous axis XT are longer than the YZ axis, also homogeneous between them.

The unification of space and time occurs at a rate equal to that of light.

“Blythe crossed by light’. Copyright Alice ODILON 2009.

When the anorexic body reaches transparency, nearly “massless”, it can be forgotten in the light.

This will allow a faster, denser experience of life, more emotional, less padded and comfortable than the cocoon of obese people.

It happens a “hypertely vertigo” of physical and emotional existence.

We can compares this template XT to other organisms in nature like swallows, butterflies, starfishs, oysters, Azawakhs, snowflakes drops of water, blood, milk etc. ……

The template XT has all of the great flexibility of a mystical Cristal Mustang.

What makes it very very very strong but also very vulnerable.

The template XT becomes a dynamic projectile form and merges with the fabric of space-time as its weight is negligible and its extreme speed, making it almost invisible on the space-time frame.

Besides the net space-time does not deform it.

We can say that the gauge XT has reached space-time and makes one with him.

From there, the template XT mays consider more different scales of motion than other satellites and can play thousands of views unlike the others receiving only one.

Like any virtual photon, the anorexic girl would have a limited time of existence but extremely dense, fuel energy.

Back to point zero repository gives life to the space-time anorexic body.

Alice ODILON. December 2009.

The ghostly energy of anorexia

In the crowd there are anorexic people moving differently.

Their dark energy behaves like a form of negative energy, gravitational repulsion.

“Gravitational repulsive Energy”. Copyright Alice ODILON 2009. All rights reserved.

The nature of this force remains a mystery.

The pure essence of this dark energy creates energy phantom as the energy of an amputated limb.

This form of energy is sometimes also called “zero point energy”.

Sometimes these anorexic persons are so agitated, “elusive”, they seem untouchable like virtual photon particles.

The vacuum anorexic energy is the amount of produced  and saved energy to achieve the zero point and draw the body space time.


Alice ODILON December 2009.


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© 2009-2012 Alice ODILON All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright

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