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L’hirondelle volée

Il doit être 1 heure de l’après-midi, et une chaleur encombrante monte dans la rue où nos deux personnages entament un long débat.

- Vous marchez trop vite! si vous voulez parler, ralentissez!

Votre rythme délibérément accéléré me fatigue!

S’écrie la jeune fille suivant le pas furtif de Akan déjà quelques mètres devant elle.

- Oh! excusez moi, j’aime tant aller vite, engager la voie, m’élever presque du sol.


“Elle s’élève”.Copyright Alice ODILON 2010


Je ne me rends pas compte, je vais comme l’oiseau.

C’est joli votre tatouage à l’intérieur de votre bras gauche!

C’est étrange; ces hirondelles naturalistes, s’imprègnent en vous comme une plaie bleue marine.

- Vraiment trop long à cicatriser, cela met du temps à se faire oublier.

- Et quel est le sens de ce logo au centre du tatouage?

- Personnel, cela ne vous regarde pas.


- Excusez moi encore de mon indiscrétion.

C’est que j’aime les hirondelles, voyez-vous?

Les martinets m’ont sifflé le secret de la liberté, grâce à leurs cris, leur vol périlleux rasant les murs de l’enceinte ténébreuse contrôlée par ma mère, j’ai pu tenir dans la nuit, alors qu’il faisait encore jour en ces étés superbes.

Les hirondelles m’avertissaient de ce qui métait possible encore de tenter pour m’échapper de l’emprise.

Dans les moments les plus noirs, quand j’étais seule dans mon lit loin du monde, j’entendais leurs cris, et c’était tout.


- Pourquoi me dites vous ces choses? Cela ne me concerne pas et ne me touche pas.

- Peut-être bien. Elles sont tellement importantes pour moi.

Vous savez quand je suis devenue femme, je pensais toujours aux hirondelles.

Un jour, à Paris, rue de la Paix, une lumière blanche a captivé mon regard

dans une vitrine abondante d’un joaillier.

Sur un banc de velours bleu, étincelait une hirondelle en or blanc sertie de diamants.

Je suis entrée et je l’ai achetée sans réfléchir.

Je la voulais autour de mon cou, mais c’était une erreur, une hirondelle ne s’attache pas.

D’ailleurs elle s’est vite envolée, on me l’a volée peu de temps après.


“L’hirondelle s’envole après avoir été volée”. Copyright Alice ODILON 2010.


Je l’avais mise dans un coffret et je ne l’ai plus jamais retrouvée.

je l’ai cherchée longtemps, puis je me suis consolée de l’avoir perdue, car je ne l’avais pas oubliée.


- Ce n’est pas moi qui l’ai volée!

- Bien sûr que non! vous l’avez seulement dessinée et graver dans la chair de votre bras, mais une hirondelle ne se représente pas, un signe s’écrit, l’hirondelle s’écrit dans le ciel, ce n’est pas un dessin, elle

écrit sa vie, elle s’écrie de cette conscience acérée de la vie.

Dessiner une hirondelle sonne comme un non sens. voyez-vous?

- Non je ne vois pas, je veux que vous voyez mon tatouage, que vous me regardiez et que vous me trouviez belle.

Ce tatouage m’est désormais attitré, ces foutus oiseaux indélébiles crèvent dans mon épiderme, je dois faire avec, et vos histoires je m’en fous.

Elles ne peuvent plus bouger maintenant, ni elle, ni vous, vous entendez?

je n’ai rien demandé aux hirondelles si ce n’est qu’elles se taisent à jamais dans ma peau.

Que le ciel devienne ma peau partout, pour elle, pour cette mère que je déteste!

Que ma chair avale les hirondelles et ma mère!

Et maintenant poussez-vous, partez! que je vous oublie aussi fort que le coeur!


- Alors, Adieu, répondit Akan, mystérieuse et libre.

Alice ODILON. Copyright 3/7/2010

It must be 1:00 pm , and a cumbersome heat goes up in the street where our two characters start a long debate.

- You walk too quickly! if you want to speak, slow down!

Your deliberately accelerated rhythm tires me!

Exclaims the young girl according to the furtive step of Akan already a few meters in front of her.

- Oh! excuse me, I like so much to go quickly, engage the way, take of almost.

- I do not realize, I go my way like a bird.

That’ a nice tattoo you’ve got on the inside of your left arm!

That’s  strange; these naturalist  swallows, impregnate your skin like a marine blue wound.

- Really too long to heal, it takes to much time to made me forget it.

- And what does mean this logo in the center of the tattoo?

- Private. It’s not your business.

- Again Please accept my apologises for my indiscretion.

That’s because I love  swallows,  you see?

The swifts whistled to me the secrecy of freedom.

Thanks to their cries, thanks to their perilous flight shaving the walls, – the dark enclosure of my mother – I could stay in the dark, during these nights of Summer.

The swallows informed me what was still possible to try for me to escape from the morbid hold of my mother.

In the blackest moments, when I was obliged to go to bed far from the world, I heard their cries, and that was it.

- Why are you letting me know all these things?

That does not relate to me and does not touch me.

- Perhaps well. They are so important for me.

You know when I became woman, I always thought of the swallows.

One day, in Paris, Rue de la paix, a white light captivated my glance in an abundant window of a jeweller.

On a blue velvet bench, was glittering a swallow in white gold crimped of diamonds.

I entered and I bought it without any doubt.

I wanted it around my neck; but it was an error, a swallow cannot live captive.

Although it was quickly flown away: it was stolen next year after.

I had put it in a box and  l never found it again.

I had sought it for a long time, then I comforted myself with the dead thought I had lost it.

But I have never forgotten it.

- I didn’t stole it!

- Of course not! You only drew and engrave it in the flesh of your arm,

but a swallow cannot be drawn, a sign writes itself, a swallow  writes itself in the sky, this is not a drawing, it writes its own life, with its sharp-edged conscience of life.

To draw a swallow sounds like no sense. Do you understand?

- No I don’t see what you mean, the only thing I want is that you would admire my tattoo, that you look at me and that you find me amazing.

This tattoo is me, these bloody indelible birds die in my skin, I must deal with them by now.

They cannot move any more now, neither them, nor you, you listen?

I only asked  the swallows they would keep silent forever in my skin.

Let the sky become my skin everywhere, Let my flesh swallow the swallows and my mother!

And now get away, leave!

I want forget you!

- Then, Good-bye, answered Akan, mysterious and free.

Perseus and the Gorgon or the Mirror Stage

Two backgrounds and the same concept and progress, I will try to clarify in a third time.

1 – The Mirror stage.

(Describing the formation of the Ego).


{This identification is what LACAN called “alienation”.


At six months the baby still lacks coordination.


However, he can recognize himself in the mirror before attaining control over his bodily movements.



“Nausica Eyes”. Copyright Alice ODILON 2009. No clone is free.



He sees his image as a whole, and the synthesis of this image produces a contrast with the real body which is perceived as fragmented.


This contrast is first felt by the infant as a rivalry with his own image, because the wholeness of the image threatens him with fragmentation,


and thus the mirror stage gives rise to an aggressive tension between the subject and the image.


To resolve this aggressive tension, the subject identifies with the image: this primary identification with the counterpart is what forms the Ego.


It must be said that the mirror stage has also a significant symbolic dimension.


The Symbolic order is present in the figure of the adult who is carrying the infant: the moment after the subject has jubilantly assumed his image as his own, he turns his head towards this adult who represents the big Other, as if to call on him to ratify this image}.


(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/jacques_Lacan).




2 – The Act: curtain opens in the cave of the Gorgons.


The snake-haired Medusa (“I bear terror”)is deeply sleeping in her cave.


Using Athena’s shield as a mirror to avoid the fell gaze of the Gorgon.



Perseus decapitates Medusa



Then, using Pluto’s helmet to make himself invisible, Perseus flees the wrath of the remaining Gorgons carrying Medusa’s head.



A) Let us resume the scene of the Mirror Stage: The Girl “a” confronts again with her “spéculaire” image.


She waits for a reaction of her reflection(this Other one)in the mirror.


And there this reflection seems to her, intimate and invasive.


Fortunately Mom is in the room behind her there, and the girl turns around towards her to cross her glance, then towards her words, to make sure of her intuition of identification in the “spéculaire image.”


The mother does not hold her in the arms, and is placed behind the girl, she decides not to name her, her image.


She does not say to her: “it is the image of your body, it is you whom we see in the mirror”.


But the Mother has a glance of Jellyfish which reflects but does not see, she lets sink the child into the fascination of the “reflecting eyes”.


The child never get the approving judgment of her blind Mother.



“Tournant le dos à la Gorgone pour ne pas être pétrifiée”. Copyright Alice ODILON 2009

{It is the negation of the future, the negation of the “that”, the negation of the unconscious.} J.M.FORGET (Anorexia symptom-out).


It is a categorical eye.


“Category” in Greek means proceeding to an accusation: – “you are A and not “no A”! You are static and not dynamics, you have more no right to speak that a corpse.”


The little Girl here is transformed into object.

The Perseides dolls”. Copyright Alice ODILON 2009. no clone is free.


This “missed Mirror Stage” has a big symbolic valuin the psychic evolution of the girl there to become anorexic.


Mom sees her daughter as a fixed object, wants her daughter frozen in an immortal fate without becoming.


Mom wants to bury her daughter in the melancholy because she lives herself this terrible spell.


The girl wants to be named to be able to cross the test of the mirror.


Then the girl meets herself alone in front of this double who is not maybe her, and then, where is she, from which nucleus she arises?


The girl begins a new life with this double “spéculaire”, with a certain guilt  because the Mother did not give her agreement, namely does not have accepted that this reflection has the right to exist and represents her daughter.

The girl saw in the eyes of her Mother only the black and not the desire of her Mother for her, her life.


Instead of the black, the girl chooses the mirror with this double.


The girl is dying to play with this double which will not bring her the rest of the recognized unity.


And if the girl sees herself it is by piece and never in its entirety in the eyes of her mother.


She lives in a symbiotic relation with the Mother and confronts with her double “(image spéculaire)”.


Henceforth the girl is confronted with enormous problems of distinction between the Me” and the others, the inside and the outside, and gets lost in her relationship with her “spéculaire image”.


And so her “body image” builds itself to and nevertheless, limited by a vague outline, and also by an uncertain size.


As we see it in this story, the glance of the little Girl (Perseus), which recovers from the “that”, don’t triumph over the eye (Gorgon), the static and mortifying material sphere,


the head of Jellyfish eyes of which stop any change “.


So the anorexic girl becomes the invisible Peeping Tom, the one who sees, unnoticed, the one who gets lost, unnoticed, the one who plays with copies, unnoticed.


I will clarify this word “unnoticed” in a next future post.

Alice ODILON. OCTOBER 2009

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© 2009-2012 Alice ODILON All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright

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