Originally posted 2010-10-19 18:37:56. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Anorexic Akan was thinking about the little paper doll she had just met.
Such a convulsive paroxysmal figure!
There was so much suffering in this paper girl!
“Sweet A-paper-doll”. copyright Alice Odilon 2010.
What could childhood have been like in this sheet embodied little girl?
Effectively she was consciously flat and light self-embodied, because it was certainly the only way she had found to stay alive.
Becoming a featureless flat creature, glossy and nearly transparent, fragile and weak like a sheet of paper!
Can you imagine the sort of life she must have had until that day?
Akan knew why she had refused to get a rear facet and a thick body with inside vital organs and dark entrails.
She had to care for her life every second, because at anytime a bad thing might happen to her, coming from behind, or from the side.
Something hurting her deeply, even though she was only a sheet of paper.
Betsy Mac Call exhibited this frontal view without secrets and sexual entry, because she had been abused by adult eyes, by adult hands, by adult sex.
And she was not able to deal with that again.
But not only that, Betsy Mac Call was the “object a” of an empowered mother with a bewitching enchanting voice and sharp hazel eyes, who left no place for life and security.
This amazing woman losing all her dreams about being famous, had been constrained to marry a busy successful man, who had fucked her regularly and lead her to successive pregnancies in the bloom of her life.
And then, that was that.
Betsy standing here in the middle of nowhere, like a ghostly stiff shape without shade, without consideration, without any weight of importance.
Furthermore Dad had nothing to do with all this unilateral ascendancy, he worked too much and had dreams.Dreams of freedom and beauty.
He was so far from seeing, or guessing, what was happening in Betsy’s life.
Yes this uncomfortable incarnation of paper life represented the perfect hell of anorexia.
Akan recognized fellow feeling in her heart and fell under the charm of Betsy Mac Call.
Permanently heartbroken Betsy could be torn up and used as a sop by anyone, easily pleased and happy to play with weaker women, innocent creature.
Shameless people could burn her with cigarettes and consume her entire body in a second of life.
And then other potbellied women might crumple her and hurt her to death, by bending her in several pieces or pulling her to lethal bits.
Then Akan thought about Betsy’s eyes, limbs, and thin core.
So much aggressiveness could be spread on her defenseless expressive body.
It seemed Betsy had accepted to play the rule of the perfect victim.
Alice ODILON. 19 of october 2010.